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We Had A Bad Week

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The insipid crap just needs to end... May. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:22 pm
Okay...so I've been going through a year of chaos...my child is out of control and I spank him on his butt...so Child Protective Services comes in and takes my child and gives custody to his usless father...who by the way is a true "dead beat"...he didn't even want me to have my son when he found out I was pregnant...but anywho...my son's step mother is this psycho little girl who feels it necessary to post all over the internet how "her son" is this amazing and awesome little boy...her son...her son...her son...and to boot...SHE didn't want anything to do with my son either!!!! She actually made my son's father choose between him and her when they started dating...yeah...but anywho...my week has been pretty decent...but today is just out of hand!!!! Actually...it all started yesterday...when my custody of my son was turned over to his (my son's) father, my "family" shut me out of their lives...they all acted as if I beat my child to death or something...I spanked him on his butt b/c he hit, kicked, pulled my hair, bit me and hit me with an aluminum baseball bat...I think I had every right to spank my child!!! I didn't mean to spank him hard...but I did...and you could clearly see my entire right hand(print) clear across his little butt...I'm not proud of it...but I'm not going to let my son think that it's okay to act that way...especially when he watched his father do all of those things to me!!! But anywho...my sister-in-law...I was VERY close to her for the longest time...well...her and my son's step mother have gotten really close...she's even going to my son's step mother's baby shower (b/c she's pregnant obviously)...I don't get it...I was always taught that blood is thicker than water!!!!! And she (my sister-in-law) is the one who taught me that!!!! Well anywho...I haven't spoken to my "family" (their choice not mine) for well over 2 months now...well...my sister-in-law decides to email me at work yesterday, wanting to know how I've been and what's been going on...I don't buy it...it had been 2 months and the last time we spoke, we had gotten into an argument b/c she told my son's step mother to report me to the IRS for claiming my son for 1/2 of last year...but that is how long he lived with me...and legally, I can claim him for the 6 months...but anywho...I didn't think for 1 second that she wanted to know about me...so I fed her a line of crap about me and my fiance getting married soon and how wonderful his family is and how when we get married no one was going to be there...that it would just be me and my fiance...well...to my surprise...my brother and sister-in-law had a house build about 25 minutes away from where I live...and just by browsing my son's step mother's myspace last night...I found out that she was invited to go see their new house last night...she (my son's step mother) bragged about the house and how beautiful it was and how the conversation with her "new friend" was amazingly awesome...she continued to say how she was informed that I was getting married and yadda yadda yadda....so my theory about my sister-in-law being best friends with my son's step mother proved to be true...although my sister-in-law claims that she doesn't talk to my son's step mother much and "it's never about me" she said all the time...do I look that stupid????? So I made the final step in my life about my "family"...I emailed my sister-in-law and told her how much of a liar and 2-faced person she really was and that I never wanted to speak to her ever again!!! I'm sure that she'll be happy about that...but that was the only family that I had left...my mother abandoned me, my father and one of my brothers raped me and now they are both dead...my oldest sister...I have no clue where she is, but she's mentally handicapped...I have another older brother who is also mentally handicapped that I have no clue where he is either...I have an older sister (by 11 months) who wants absolutely nothing to do with me b/c my testimony helped put my father in jail even though he raped her as well (she even wrote me a letter when I was pregnant saying that she hoped that my unborn baby died b/c both of her children have a lot wrong with them)...my youngest sister cursed me out the day that the State of NJ gave custody of my son to his father...she said that she never wanted to see/speak to me ever again...and my other younger sister...well...my sister-in-law won't let her talk to me b/c she gives my sister-in-law a hard time whenever I'm around...but that's b/c my sister-in-law treats her like crap so she was bribed that she'd be allowed to date and get her license but she had to stop talking to me...so I'm basically all alone...I have my fiance and his family and very few friends that I trust...I can't stand my life anymore...I may love my son and my fiance...but for the 1st time ever...I pray that every time I walk out my door every day that some syntripical force causes me to die!!!!!! I don't want to be on the face of this earth anymore!!!! My fiance would be problem free...my son...well...I don't even think that he remembers me...I'm tired of feeling the way that I do everyday...I feel helpless, lonely, forgotten, unloved...etc...I'm tired of always being upset...I'm tired of always crying myself to sleep at night and sometimes during the day...I'm tired of looking at my son's empty room every day...I'm just tired of breathing this nasty air!!!!! Why am I being punished???? What did I do to deserve this???? 
Current Location: Crying at work!!!!
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: It's Been A While by Staind

What else? Oct. 23rd, 2006 @ 03:55 pm
So no one has posted here in a long time, I thought I'd break the trend...

I know I have neglected Live Journal for months at a time. Simple reasoning is that I have a Xanga and no one ever commented on my Journal, but I know a plethora of people on Xanga. But I have felt like some one was stalking me there for the longest time, even though I put up a lock and everything.

Anyway, that's kind of the background for my bad week story.

About two weeks ago, I had a job interview. This would be for a job that I went to school for and I had already had one job in this field, but I didn't like where it was. So I quit that job. After I quit, I applied somewhere a lot closer to home and my friends, but the place was not hiring. Needless to say, I was a little surprised when they contacted me and asked if I would interview with them.

My interview was an adventure, to say the least. I felt like anything that could go wrong, did. So I wrote about it in my Xanga. I compared the place I had just interviewed to the place I had quit. And my stalker started checking my Xanga like seven times a day (I got a little freaked out about that).

Then a couple days later, I received a very angry email from my former boss. It seems that he was my internet stalker and was irate about my entry comparing the two stores. Now I don't know how to feel... I feel guilty that what I said was taken the wrong way (because vocal inflections do not transfer to the written word) or angry because he has been stalking me for months.

I did send him an email of apology, but I still feel like I had my privacy violated.


Urgent Prayer Mar. 4th, 2005 @ 08:18 pm
Hey all,
My dad's best friend, Dave, died. He had surgery to remove one of his lungs (due to cancer) and developed pneumonia in the remaining lung.

Please pray for my parents, and Dave's family.



I can't begin to describe it... Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 10:12 pm
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Current Mood: pissed offpissed off

What a bad week.. Jan. 21st, 2005 @ 01:09 am
1.  First I get into a car accident and have no car
2. And then my ex-boyfriend is all upset because I told him to hold back on his affection towards me and now I don't even know if we are going to be friends anymore.

The funny thing is that I am more upset over the relationship being lost than I am about my car.  You could tell me I have cancer and I would still be more upset that I lost a friend.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Other entries
» And it's only Monday
I have been back from my Christmas break in school for a total of five days and two of those were the weekend. Usually work is my big problem, but it's a new semester and I am learning about new things and am finding out how much of a wimp I am. I'm going to school for band instrument repair. This is my second semester and we are beginning to learn how to take dents out of small brass instruments. I am a small person. I know that I do not have a whole lot of upper body strength. I now also know that I am the epitome of a prissy, weak little girl. I am having problems pushing the dents out of the brass and today I got a little steel ball stuck in the practice bell (we're not even working on real instruments yet, and I'm already having all these problems)under a dent. I wanted to cry. AND I can't solder. I don't know if the metal isn't heating up enough or what my problem is. I just want to go home, but I still have half of my class left, three hours of work and volunteering to do before I can go home, have some chai and relax. I know that eventually I will be able to do things, but until then, I will just keep wondering if this is really what God wants me to do...

» cheer up honey, i hope you can
Hi. My name is Travis, and this past week has pretty much been the worst week ever for me.
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» (No Subject)
Interesting idea for a community... *impressed*.

Anyway, my week could be considered both good and bad. At the moment, I'll opt for bad as it is likely I could be losing my job soon. That's not as bad as it sounds - it's a part time job while I'm studying, but I need the money nonetheless. Not to mention, I'll feel like strangling myself if I lose it, as I'll have nothing to do for the next 6 weeks before next semester...
» Just to get things started..
I will start off my bad week....

It has been pretty lackluster.  Just not horribly sad but not happy either.  It started really when Billy (my ex and now good friend) stated that he wasn't sure if Christianity is right for him.  So that made me just sad.  And it bugs me that I can't make the decision for him when I know Jesus is right for him (He is right for everyone).  So that bummed me out.  And then, I got sick on my birthday and I am still sick.  Nothing really exciting happened.  It is also almost the holidays and it just isn't as exciting anymore.  It is just kind of.. bleh.. there?  There is nothing to look forward to. 

So, that is my story and I am sticking to it.
» (No Subject)
It seems a lot of people have had a bad week (ironically, before Christmas) so we thought we might as well start up a community for it. That way it's a positive thing since it helps people make friends! And now we can recycle a ton of sarcastic remarks like "join the club" and whatnot and they are twice as funny.

This way you don't have to rant in your personal journals and keep a million friends just so someone might happen to read it, then get depressed when nobody replies. Instead you can just post it here so people *will* read it and give you tons of supportive feedback! Hopefully we'll have a diverse enough group to where no matter what you post someone can honestly reply "I've been there, here's some encouragement."
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